14 May, 2007 There’s Never Been A Better Time To Become An Australian Citizen.

1. What are budgie smugglers?

“Swimming trunks, the male version… usually accompanied by tissue paper or something like a tennis ball.”

- ACT Minister for Multiculturalism, John Hargreaves’ answer to question 1 on my version of the citizenship test.

“People who take budgies overseas for the purpose of sale.”

- Ananth, age 23, (an Indian citizen living in Bruce) answered the same question.

There is a rumour that the citizenship bill will be introduced into parliament this month, and the actual Australian Citizenship test is expected to be ready and in action by September this year.

The 30 question multiple choice test has been delayed because at the time of writing the Federal Government is yet to complete a booklet from which the questions will be based. The questions will be randomly drawn from a pool of 200 questions about Australian values, history, geography, political and legal matters, landmarks, national symbols, and the rights and responsibilities of being a citizen.

So I decided to test 30 current Australian citizens (many of whom are Australian-born and bred), and an Indian citizen to see whether they could correctly answer some potential questions.

My 30 questions ranged from “when was Prime Minister Gough Whitlam dismissed?” to “the phrase “Strewth” and “Flamin’ Dingo” can be attributed to which Australian TV character?”

Face it, the only reason you know that Australia’s first Prime Minister is Sir Edmund Barton is because the annoying ‘Federation of Australia’ ad worked!

The best answered questions were “Skippy was a…..?”, “We’re happy little…..?”, and everybody could identify that Phar Lap was a horse, some even said that he had a huge heart. They also knew that although Australia is home to a ‘Big Merino’, a ‘Big Banana’, a ‘Big Rock’, a Big Pineapple’, and a ‘Big Prawn’, surprisingly we do not yet have a ‘Big Kangaroo’.

The rest of the story is significantly bleaker.

Not one person could correctly answer what may be considered the most important question to Australians… “What are the Australian national public holidays?” This is even more disappointing of Canberrans. Canberra calls itself the home of the public servant?

According to the answers on my test, the population of Australia is anything between 10 million and six billion. Most people did not know within how many years a national general election must be held. The answers ranged from two years to six.

Only one person could correctly describe the Torres Strait Islander flag, and its meaning. And most did not know what event either Anzac Day or Australia Day marked.  Knowing what Australians value and understanding the history of a country is an important part of becoming apart of its future.

The Australian Government has said the planned citizenship test is intended to achieve “cohesion” and “integration”. But can a multiple choice test given in a time frame of 45 to 60 minutes achieve this outcome? How important is knowing the animals on the national coat of arms? Apart from that they both may end up in pies.

The Prime Minister said he would like to see a question about cricket. Does this mean subjecting people to watching cricket as they study the “LBW” rules? Or will people be able to find all the answers in books like the British ‘Complete Training Kit for Life in the UK Test’, on sale for only £10. Test takers will also need to have a sound grasp on English. So expect to see the definition of “bludger”, “snag”, “Sheila”, “hooroo” and “grundies” in our citizenship guide.

The Australian Government argues that studying for and successfully completing the citizenship test demonstrates a commitment to Australian values and a desire to be apart of the Australian community. But we have all memorised facts to pass our History tests, and then when History was no longer a compulsory subject, we quit.

Playing trivia does not fairly assess the commitment to Australia that people may have made for many years by contributing to the community in a number of ways.

The American test asks how many stars and stripes are on the flag, so if you can count you have what it takes to be a great US citizen. It also asks what colours the stars and stripes are. This is a bit discriminatory to the colour blind, don’t you think? We can only imagine how many potentially great Australian citizens will be denied of a “fair go” but the Australian Citizenship test.

Would you pass the “Australian citizenship test”? See if you can choose the correct answer from some of the most incorrect answers I received from Australian citizens.
Click here to view the test.